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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

Toyama Behind

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Finally, I get to the ER, and it’s chaos. The kid’s there, screaming his head off. I mean, I get it, but c’mon, man, I’m trying to help you! I’m all suited up, ready to do my thing, and the nurse is like, “You got this!” I’m like, “Yeah, sure, no pressure.”

Ushijima the Loan Shark Gets New Live-Action Spinoff Series About Ushijima's Rival